Friday, October 12, 2007
I can feel it; a tidal wave that flows over me at the happiest time of my year. My ambivalence, my middle ground between happiness and misery, seems to be teetering on a steep, double-sided cliff, the only difference being one side of the cliff goes straight into the heavens while the other drops into the lower rings of hell. I've been trying to reach out to a few hand-picked others, but they don't seem to be responsive which, for these people, is usually the case. I do have people that I can rely on for preventative measures but, ironically enough, I would prefer those people to stay away. I don't like them to see me like this. I can't sleep, I can only be right now. My creative highs are beginning to peak, as this time of year is always highly beneficial to my creative side, but it has its price. For me, creativity is chaos.