Thursday, July 3, 2008


I don't have many of these. I don't like to make them and I don't really keep them. But, of the few that I do keep I cherish. Or so I thought I did. There is one that stands out. She knows who she is. I did let her down once several years back and vowed never to go down that road again. But here I am, veering from side to side on a lonely dusty backwater of what was once forgotten history. It turns out that she's 8 months pregnant and I had no clue until this very night. That explained the lack of phone calls and text messages. I knew something was wrong when I didn't receive any replies to any of my messages over the last few weeks. I hadn't tried contacting her since at least January. When a mutual bar tending friend of ours told me about it I had to send a text and ask her and her husband why they never told me. The message from her husband that I got back dropped my jaw in the bar. He was right, though. I don't like to admit when someone else is right, but he was.

This is really affecting me. The Guinness isn't making this any easier. Maybe a hangman's noose would help. If only I were of the cowardly type to even consider such a dreadfully ignorant option. This will be patched up. The question is this: How long will she allow this to go on? I don't want to have to endure much more of this. I received one text from her after I texted her telling her I was seeing The Cure at MSG. She wrote, "Wish I was there". They were her favorite band as a kid and they made me think of her. That was all, though. I hate waiting. I am miserable. I wish she would read this.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i didn't want to write this because i knew that when you saw a comment posted you would think it was from your friend. i know that feeling well. you get that fright or flight flush throughout your entire body.

what you are going through is a horrible feeling. it's as if you've been hollowed out like a Halloween pumpkin. I know that you are aware of how I know this so well. like you, it apparently was my fault. i just hope that your pain doesn't last as long as mine. i am sincere when i say that. and i hope that your friend eventually comes around, just as mine did. and yes, it is a shitty feeling when someone doesn't even have the time to drop a text or a call.