Monday, October 27, 2008

Nothing Holding Me


The more I think about it, the more I realize that the "mountain man life" might make sense after all. 

I have a nagging urge that sits in the back of my head and it's been there for quite sometime. This urge doesn't go away; non-abating and evil right down to the core in it's complete but almost indescribable goodness. If you were able to go to a library and pick up a book that was composed on every thought pattern possible by a human mind (Let's call this volume the Compendium of Human Thoughts.) and, in this book, every possible thought by a human was arranged under types of thought this idea of mine would, in it's most diluted sense, be classified under the label Utter Nonsense. The body of the text in this section would be riddled with words like "claptrap" and "garbage". These are words that people use to describe an idea they don't understand. However, to anyone astute enough and with an innate diligence in research matching or exceeding my own, they might find some similar and much more fitting idea under the label Enlightenment. Ridiculed by everyone for what some would see as a nonsensical decision, I would go beyond any advice and do what I feel is necessary. Like I've said before "This is my life and these my mistakes. Get your own." 

I think I've decided on my trip for next year and it will be back in the UK. While this is no surprise to anyone that knows me personally, I'm thinking about actually staying permanently. I have nothing holding me here. I love my job, but a job can be replaced. I want the life of the man on the road but I want to make it permanent. I want that life.

The only way to do anything is to do. There is no questioning, no second-guessing; there is only pure and unadulterated action. There will be no hawsers, no weights, no one.  There will be me and my backpack, me and the world, me and my life, me and my existence. I will no longer tolerate this life of repetition. Thirty-one years on this planet has hardly tamed me into submitting to the "modern" life. Some view "modern" life as safe. I view it as lazy. 

I will make this a reality. I want that life.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

There is an inspiration in this entry that is lacking in the others; it makes me incredibly happy, I only hope that it stays with you. ;)

Anonymous said...

the desire for a permanent life of impermanence; very interesting. it's rather enticing in its simplicity.

Anonymous said...

When you make your dreams a reality, you make reality a dream.