Monday, November 24, 2008

The Buffer


I had a "thing" recently with a girl, a younger one, that didn't go the way I or, tragically, she planned it to. I don't even know if you could call it a thing. From my view it wasn't anything more than a minor thing. Either way, it was a thing and, from what I gathered and, eventually, assumed to be almost inevitable, she took it much more seriously than I ever would. What you are bearing witness to now is my lone personal triumph in life: to alienate everyone that really cares at all for me. Some would call this reckless or even imprudent but I call it me.

The real problem lies in the fact that she was fun to hang around and drink with. She obviously didn't realize what she was getting into with the whole "hanging out with me" deal and now, as usual, she hates me or, should I say, she wants to hate me. 

I'm reading a blog that she wrote now and I'd be damned if I weren't the subject matter. The problem with women is that no matter how forward you are with them and no matter how many times that you tell them that they aren't the only one they usually don't like to admit that some people won't change for them and they will continue living the fanciful and romantic lifestyle as if that fact, that glaring and very conspicuous fact, were not the case. There were a few situations with certain people where I did change certain minor facets of what is me. Those situations are few and far between and, like all the others, they failed, too. 

I wish I could make her feel better but she will just have to live through the evils of naiveté. I think what will happen now is that she will probably write a few more blogs and a few more songs and then, when everything settles down and the clean waters of the River of Lethe run over her and her being, she will be okay. I am no good catch and am, without doubt, one to be forgotten immediately.

She claims that she was a buffer that I used to bide my time. I don't "fill my time" with anyone unless they had something to bring to the table. I have no "buffer" and feel no need for a "buffer". I would rather play my Sadowsky than waste the time of someone else. With this claim she gave both of us too little credit.

Her age says 29 but her heart claims 15.

2 comments:

Jill Marie said...

my, my, my...aren't we quite the heartbreaker frank! love it...i knew there was a reason we re-connected as friends after all these years - we can't help but be desired because we're awesome. it's not your fault if someone more needy than yourself gets hurt along the way, right?! :)

Rachael said...

Wow Frank, I didn't realize you had reverted back to being a heartless bastard! I'm having flashbacks...I kind of hoped you had evolved a little since we first met way back when ;) Well, she wasn't the first "little thing" and I'm sure she won't be the last.